Not just in the game, but that can be applied to life, relationships and ones mindset. The next minute youre painting the Mona Lisa.. A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf "Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.". Chip Shot. Funny Golf Quotes You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do. Go back in time and start playing at a younger age. If you can smoke and drink while youre doin it, its not a sport. Ahole in oneis amazing when you think of the different universes this white mass of molecules has to pass through on its way to the hole. Well have whatever Mac OGrady is smoking. A dinner without wine. Look at the size of his putter. Why dont skeletons play golf? I'm gonna pound you like I do these range balls. 6. The guys who come One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges Full Text: Please do not drop your cigarette butts on the ground. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know?" - Bobby Jones One minute youre bleeding. He sat down next to a beautiful blonde. Intercourse! Id cry too if I played golf like you. Steve Bann, Theres a reason why golfers walk forward to their next shot. In case he gets a hole in one. If you like football - I would rather think that you are active, optimistic and strict a bit. Being a thoughtful person, and a social being, I find it very amusing to explore people's thoughts, observations, and experiences. Hitting the ball well is about thirty percent of it. Tiger Woods can drive a ball three hundred yards! Lansky's quote is funny because, well, as golfers we're all a little bit masochistic. Try choking donw on the shaft. If you think youre standing too close to the ball, make sure youve actually struck it with your club after swinging. The reason most politicians are golfers is that they lie better with more practice & experience. Golf is very much like a love affair. Do you know why the game is called golf? The true funniest golf quotes of all time are likely never put to paper and aren't spoken by golfers or celebrities. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? Ana Claudia Antunes, If you think its hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
85+ Funny Golf Quotes That Will Be A Hit At The Clubhouse Which pro golfers can jump higher than the flag?
19+ Best Dirty Medical Pick Up Lines - Best Jokes and Puns Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "Its golf balls." If you worry about the ones you missed, you are going to keep missing them. Walter Hagen, 47. Your email address will not be published. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, 15+ Easy and Funny Animal Riddles for Kids (with answers) 2023, 79 HILARIOUS Holiday Jokes For A Jolly Mood, 49 Jokes about Teachers and Students (that work like Science: Always get a reaction), 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! Fear comes in two packages fear of failure, and sometimes, fear of success. Tom Kite, 21. A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Required fields are marked *. So we finish the 18th, and he's gonna stiff me. To find a mans true character, play golf with him. P.G. 3. P-U-T means to place a thing where you want it. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it. Golf turns outdoors into indoors, a prefab mat of stultified grass, processed, pesticided, herbicided, the pseudo-green of formica sterilityThe enemy of wildness, it is a demonstration of the absolute dominion of man over wild nature. If I learn that you are a fan of diving - I would suppose that your psychological portrait includes such features as curiosity, patience, and insistence. Thats incredible. I always said you have to be really smart or really dumb to play this game well. This post may contain affiliate links. 5. I was actually enjoying it.
Top Ten Golf Phrases That Sound Dirty But Aren't Gerald Ford, If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. Whats the difference between a golf ball and a car? I stepped on a rake.". 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! Golf is a game that is special and unique in that there is always something to learn.
Golf tips are like Aspirin: One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle youll be lucky to survive. Harvey Penick, 17. You get bad breaks from good shots, good breaks from bad shots but you have to play where it lies. Bobby Jones, 23. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you. No matter what you shoot the next day you have to go back to the first tee and begin again and make yourself into something. What does a woman do with her asshole before sex? Their fore-fathers! The fourth putt! My windows aren't dirty, that's just my dog's nose art! Diller's comment is a great take on a bit of traditional golf advice. Ben Hogan, To find a mans true character, play golf with him. Is that my golf bag in your pants because I just finished a long drive and I'd like to put my wood in it? -Happy Gilmore. "If you break 100, watch your golf.
65 Best Golf Quotes for Inspiration and Motivation There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly or start cheating. "The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.". If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron, not even God can hit a 1-iron. again, Lee Trevino, who would know a thing or two about lightning strikes considering he was stuck by it on the course. I have 10 sons, one more and I will have my own football team., To which the Mormon replies, You fellas aint got a clue. Get in the hole! "I'm the best. See more ideas about golf quotes funny, golf, golf quotes. 2. Golf: a game where you yell fore, you get six, and you write five. Man: "Well, that depends on how hard I kick him in the ass." A man got on a bus with both of his front pant pockets full of golf balls. Discover the views of a person who feels the same way we do. These quotes and images about funny golf are the truest, wisest, and most positive ones to be found on the web. The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his obviously bulging pants.
13 very funny (and occasionally inappropriate) golf memes After shooting 30 over par after 18 holes, Jim is on his way home from the 18th having a chat with his Karen. Golf is a compromise between what your ego wants you to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do. Bruce Crampton, 63. Golfing? 2. Required fields are marked *. See photos about 15 very funny (and occasionally inappropriate) golf memes from Golf Digest Say what you want about the other sports, none of them hold a candle to golf when it comes to inspirational and downright funny quotes. With the exception of the putter and the driver remember that you hit down on every other shot in golf. 1. 19th Hole Bonus Quote: While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! Learn More. But there is a difference between playing well and hitting the ball well. Hank Aaron, Golf, golf, golf is all the story! Quotes tagged as "golf" Showing 1-30 of 130.
Sam Snead. What did Chamillionaire say when he came in a stroke under par? The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. We have a threesome, care to join us? The little dog starts to yip and stands up on its hind legs. How you handle failure determines how successful you will be. Muffet McGraw, 26. "Golf is my profession. Andy to ave a water golf ball retriever for the round with you! He went up to her, talked to her, and convinced her to come back to his hotel room for the night. Because he thought every day he needed to play around. And there are windmills. Enjoy the game, enjoy these best golf jokes. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well. Spread your legs a little more. Again the announcement: Would the man on the womens tee kindly back up the mens tee!, Mike had had enough and shouted: Would the horses ass in the clubhouse with the loud speaker kindly shut up and let me play my damn second shot!. A bad hole wont get you a slap across the face when you play golf. What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? The cat crawls out at night to smoke them and we are trying to get him to quit. You okay with that? Besides that, I love to explore. Please read here for more information. Would you like to see my Slazenger along with my freshly cleaned balls?
20 Of The Best Golf Quotes Ever - Golf Monthly Magazine What's the difference between a golfball and a Nissan? A smart shot is when you dont have the guts to try it. Phil Mickelson, 4. Why didnt the golfer get his homework done? Golf is a lot like life. Golf: A five-mile walk punctuated with frequent disappointments. Short Golf Jokes & Puns 1. Success depends almost entirely on how effectively you learn to manage the games two ultimate adversaries: the course and yourself. Jack Nicklaus, 45. Dirty jokes tend to be of sexual nature, make use of coarse language and can be offensive. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. A shot that goes in the cup is pure luck, but a shot to within two feet of the flag is skill. Ben Hogan, 5. Think the shot through in advance before you address the ball. Two men were playing a round golf, one of the men was just about to make his golf swing when he noticed a large funeral group passing by on a nearby road. Its good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. Mark Twain, the famous wordsmith who also said golf is a good walk spoiled. On the Green In Two. And it matters how we go about attaining them. 4. And only one secret has emerged, one swing of thought that always works. See you in the Email! Gardner Dickinson, Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious. Siegfried Sassoon, Golf is the infallible test. If a bird sh#ts on your golf cart, do not ever take her golfing again. On the final hole, the match was all even and one of the wives had a long, breaking, fifteen-foot putt to win the match. Weve put together a list of our favorite jokes, golf puns, and one-liners you can bust out on the course, the range, or the pub to try and laugh off that 102 you just shot. From the moment I saw you, I've had a vertical shaft angle. If everything was given to you, it wouldnt feel as good when you achieve it. Annika Sorenstam, 24. Sick of the same tired old golf puns and gags? "Gunga galunga gunga, gunga-galunga." Go to the golf course. The threesome were curious what was going on. My caddy says I should use a hard 7.
Best Funny Golf Memes and Pictures in 2023 - MemesBams Nothing. Ive played the game for 50 years and I still havent the slightest idea of how to play. Gary Player, 39. Why is Hearts a golfers worst card game? If you win through bad sportsmanship, thats no real victory. Babe Didrikson Zaharias, 11.
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